Above: My sis, Mamaw C., and me
Above: My Mamaw C and me
This is a post from my myspace on February 24, 2008. My Mamaw C. passed away on February 22, 2008. I still have my moments where I miss her terribly, but that's okay. You wouldn't miss or think of someone that you didn't love dearly. :)
So, when you have a death in the family, of course it makes you reflect and think about all sorts of things. My life since I found out my Mamaw C. passed away on Friday morning has been so emotionally draining that it's ridiculous. It's not just because of her death, but it's a lot of things going on in my life all at once.
I have realized that some people are not what they seem, I have realized that there are people in my life that I am happy to have beside me during a storm, I have realized that family is one of the most important things in this world, I have realized a lot about myself too.
We had a purity conference this weekend too. It was great actually. Just needed to give mention to that.
Anyway, my Mamaw C. was one of the most caring, loving, compassionate, amazing, stubborn, hard-headed, determined, wouldn't hurt a fly, loved Jesus with all her heart women. She amazed me all the time. So, yesterday while going through some of her personal items and pulling out stuff that made me smile because of certain memories, I could only think of the fact that the world is only temporary. Thankfully.
What have I done to make an impact in my world? It's not just what you do in your past, but what did you do today or even this past week that has made an impact? I said I had been very comtemplative today, so bear with me. I do have somewhere to go...........
Anyway, while I was at the funeral today and with all the old hymns and everything that was playing, I expected to only be thinking of my Mamaw, and I was, but you know what I was honestly sitting there balling my eyes out about? My family. My unsaved family. I was crying out to God that my family would be saved. That my Dad would FINALLY see the truth. I seriously could have just ate some carpet during the funeral and prayed. That's how strong the burden was at that time. My Mamaw, I am going to miss her dearly, but I will see her someday and she is happy being in Heaven, running on streets of gold, talking with Jesus, and being with her husband, son, brothers, parents, family members, and friends that were already home. I can't be sad for her. She's not suffering anymore.
Anyway, I wrote this for two reasons. 1.) Maybe you, the reader, can understand/feel what I am trying my best to say. That you would realize that you're not alone in your desire to make a difference and to do more, to care more, to pray and cry out to God more. 2.) For me to remember this day. That today there have been revelations and reminders. Today, things are going to change.
Love you all and thanks for reading if you did. :)
So, when you have a death in the family, of course it makes you reflect and think about all sorts of things. My life since I found out my Mamaw C. passed away on Friday morning has been so emotionally draining that it's ridiculous. It's not just because of her death, but it's a lot of things going on in my life all at once.
I have realized that some people are not what they seem, I have realized that there are people in my life that I am happy to have beside me during a storm, I have realized that family is one of the most important things in this world, I have realized a lot about myself too.
We had a purity conference this weekend too. It was great actually. Just needed to give mention to that.
Anyway, my Mamaw C. was one of the most caring, loving, compassionate, amazing, stubborn, hard-headed, determined, wouldn't hurt a fly, loved Jesus with all her heart women. She amazed me all the time. So, yesterday while going through some of her personal items and pulling out stuff that made me smile because of certain memories, I could only think of the fact that the world is only temporary. Thankfully.
What have I done to make an impact in my world? It's not just what you do in your past, but what did you do today or even this past week that has made an impact? I said I had been very comtemplative today, so bear with me. I do have somewhere to go...........
Anyway, while I was at the funeral today and with all the old hymns and everything that was playing, I expected to only be thinking of my Mamaw, and I was, but you know what I was honestly sitting there balling my eyes out about? My family. My unsaved family. I was crying out to God that my family would be saved. That my Dad would FINALLY see the truth. I seriously could have just ate some carpet during the funeral and prayed. That's how strong the burden was at that time. My Mamaw, I am going to miss her dearly, but I will see her someday and she is happy being in Heaven, running on streets of gold, talking with Jesus, and being with her husband, son, brothers, parents, family members, and friends that were already home. I can't be sad for her. She's not suffering anymore.
Anyway, I wrote this for two reasons. 1.) Maybe you, the reader, can understand/feel what I am trying my best to say. That you would realize that you're not alone in your desire to make a difference and to do more, to care more, to pray and cry out to God more. 2.) For me to remember this day. That today there have been revelations and reminders. Today, things are going to change.
Love you all and thanks for reading if you did. :)
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2 comments:
I was impressed with what I read here, M; very thoughtful and pretty well written (if I say so myself.)
I look forward to more of your "reflections" and what God reveals through them.
-Cristy S.
Thanks Cristy! :)
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